Want That Perfect Forever Kinda Love?

Everyone deserves their happily ever after…

We’ve been married almost 27 years. And we are living each day our happily ever after.

anniv Pic

So what do you have to do to get there? I’ll give you my Top 5 Tips!

 

 

1. Perfectly Imperfect

Stop waiting on Prince Charming…he’s not coming…

Prince Charming

However the perfectly imperfect person is right there or out there waiting for you. Sure, you should set your standards high, you deserve it. But never set them so high that no one can ever measure up…no one is perfect…stop trying to hold them to it.

Those perfect couples you know and see, they didn’t get to where they are by being perfect. They got there by being in love and never giving up, by being perfectly imperfect!

2. Rolling With The Waves

waves

Like every aspect of life, not just relationships, there are going to be waves to ride. There will be great times, good times, bad times, horrible times, and that gray area where you just have no idea what kind of time it is.

Marriage/Relationships aren’t 50/50…the arent even 100/100 all the time. Sometimes the split is 150/-50. That’s what its all about. Its reaching down deep when you think you got nothing left and pulling out that Hail Mary. But I assure you…riding the waves IS what its all about. It grows you, shows you, and makes you!

3. Your Relationship Is Between 3 

trology

Your relationship is made up of the 2 of you and God. Not your best friend (Although there’s nothing wrong with having a best friend to lean on as long as they know when to sympathize AND kick you in the butt when necessary), definitely not social media, and not other family members…anytime it leaks out of your circle of 3 its messy messy messy and almost impossible to re-contain. 

You mad? That’s cool. Go sit your butt in the other room and calm down then come back. 

4. Communication Is Key

communication

Yeah you might think whats bothering you is petty. You might think what the other person is telling you is bothering them is petty. But if its bothering you, put it out there. Dealing with things is much better when they are petty or small. Little things turn into big things if left to smolder! Big things….and there will be big things….they are obvious and usually blow up…but then they settle…like a rainbow after a huge storm. Without that storm and rain and darkness, you don’t get to see a rainbow. Always appreciate the storms and rainbows in your life. 

5. Stop Comparing

comparison

Stop comparing your relationship to other relationships. This goes both ways….don’s assume your relationship should be as wonderful as what you perceive someone else’s to be and don’t assume its perilously doomed like others either. You aren’t your parents, your best friends, the couple you see on Facebook you think you wanna be like, you aren’t Snow White and Prince Charming, YOU ARE YOU! 

Love is

Anything worth doing is worth doing well! Marriage 101 continued

It takes work to stay married. It’s not something that just magically happens. You have to work at it and work hard. The more elbow grease you put into it the more your marriage gets out of it.

Think positively about your spouse and think of them often. Turn those negative thoughts into positive ones. My hubby loves to have a super organized house…it sometimes gets on my nerves as I’m not nearly as organized. I have decided to look at it as he makes me work harder and keeps me more organized than I normally would be. It’s a win-win.

Make sure to take time to have lots of sex. The more sex you have the better it is for you (healthwise) and for you mentally. It gives you that connection and bond with your spouse that you may not feel every minute of every day. It’s a great way to reconnect and remember why you fell in love in the first place. That human connection is so important in any relationship.

Overlook the small things that aren’t important. He leaves his socks on the floor and shoes on my side of the bed. So? There are many women out there that wish they had their husbands back after they have passed away. They would gladly pick up those socks and shoes or just overlook it and let him deal with it. Ann Landers once had a writer who wrote in and said this to another one who was complaining. It really put things in perspective. Don’t you think? Wow! We all have things that get on our nerves but let the small things remain small.

Remember to say thank you, often. I try to take cues from the franchise Chick Fil A and use the phrase  “my pleasure” as often as possible. Doesn’t that sound great? What would you do if you asked your spouse to make you dinner and s/he said “my pleasure.” It just sounds like a great way to respond to others. Try to use it in your day today.

Marriage does take work. But the rewards are so worth it. It’s not easy to be married for 19 years. But it’s really not that difficult either. Live life, laugh hard, and love forever!

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